Doctor, Doctor what did the x-ray of my head show?
Absolutely nothing!
Doctor, doctor my baby's swallowed a bullet.
Well don't point him at anyone until I get there!
Doctor, Doctor I need something to keep my falling hair in.
What about a matchbox!
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a python.
You can't get round me just like that you know!
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a mosquito.
Go away, sucker!
Doctor Doctor I think I'm a moth.
So why did you come around then?
Well, I saw this light at the window...!
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm an adder.
Great, can you help me with my accounts then please!
Doctor, Doctor I keep painting myself gold.
Don't worry it's just a gilt complex!
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a rubber band.
Why don't you stretch yourself out on the couch there and tell me all about it!
Doctor, Doctor I snore so loud I keep myself awake.
Sleep in another room then!
Doctor, Doctor I feel like an apple.
We must get to the core of this!
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a sheep.
That's baaaaaaaaaad!
Doctor, Doctor you've taken out my tonsils, my adenoids, my gall bladder, my varicose veins and my appendix, but I still don't feel well.
That's quite enough out of you!
Doctor, Doctor I'm becoming invisible.
Yes I can see you're not all there!
Doctor how can I cure my sleep walking?
Sprinkle tin-tacks on your bedroom floor!
Doctor these pills you gave me for Body Odour...
What's wrong with them?
They keep slipping out from under my arms!
Doctor, Doctor my husband smells like fish.
Poor sole!
Doctor: You seem to be in excellent health. Your pulse is as regular as clockwork.
Patient: That's because you've got your hand on my watch!
Doctor, Doctor my sister thinks she is a lift.
Well tell her to come in.
I can't she doesn't stop at this floor !
Doctor, Doctor I've had tummy ache since I ate three crabs yesterday.
Did they smell bad when you took them out of their shells?
What do you mean "took them out of their shells!"
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a dog.
How long have you felt like this?
Ever since I was a puppy!
Doctor, Doctor you have to help me out!
Certainly, which way did you come in?
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm God
When did this start?
Well first I created the sun, then the earth...
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pack of cards.
I'll deal with you later!
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a spoon!
Well sit still and don't stir!
Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee.
Have you tried taking the spoon out?
Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses.
You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!
Doctor, Doctor I've just swallowed a pen.
Well sit down and write your name!
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a dog!
Sit!
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a bell?
Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring!
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