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Home > Funny Jokes > Miscellaneous > The Big Fart

Rated: 8.00/10 | Votes: 152 | Views: 12,828 |Submitted: 01/20/04



One day, Bob asked a beautiful girl out. Her name was Tammy. He
asked her if she wanted to go to the drive-in movie. She said
"sure". Bob was really excited, so when he got home he told his
Mom and asked her if she could make him a can of beans. Bob was
in so much of a rush that he gulped down the beans, got changed,
had a shower, an hour before he had to go pick her up.

Anyway, he finally left to go pick her up. She got in the car
and away they went. They started watching the movie and Bob all
of a sudden had a terrible cramp and he needed to fart. "Shit!"
he said to himself. "I need to fart but I can't because I'm with
a beautiful girl and, and, oh shit!"

He thought that he could just wait until the intermission to go
to the washroom. Finally it was intermission and he asked Tammy
if she would like some pop and popcorn. She said sure.

He got to the washroom, opened the door and saw a big line up.
"Damn!" he said. I guess I'll wait until the end of the movie.
He went back to the car and covered his stomach.

Finally, it was the end of the movie. He said to Tammy that
he'll be right back, he has just got to go to the washroom. He
got there, opened the door and there was still a big line up.
"Damn! I guess I'll wait until after I drop her off."

So they're driving home and Bob's intestines are about to
explode. They pulled up in Tammy's driveway and Tammy said, "Oh!
My Grandparents are here, come in and say hello."

Bob thinks to himself, "Damn! I need to fart but I have to go
in." So he said "Okay". They are all sitting down at the dinner
table and Bob is about to explode. He says to himself, "I've
really got to fart so I'll just let a little bit go at a time."
Meanwhile the dog, Duke, is sitting right beside him. "Bllllght!"

Tammy's father said "Duke!" and sat back down.

"Oh my gosh! They think it's the dog!"

"Bllllght!"

Again Tammy's father stands up and says "Duke!"

Finally, Bob lets it go really big, it's the biggest fart you've
ever heard. "Blllhhhttgggghtttttttbang!"

Tammy's father stands up and shouts "Duke! Get the hell out of
there before he craps on ya!"


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