Palpacheepa Crankthasher:
"The galaxy's best hairdresser" as referred to by her customers. Palpacheepa has been in the beauty business for approximately 20.376 years, with an impeccable record for client satisfaction. Once, when she was abducted by aliens, she received from them, a rectal probe, implanted tracking device, and a lovely manicure. She returned the favor with free facials and dazzling perms. Palpacheepa was returned to Earth seemingly only minutes from her departure, but claims she enjoyed a lifetime with her friends from the Fashion district of Alpha Centauri. She claims she made a fortune on their planet with her amazing beauty skills.
Miss Crankthasher, unmarried, seeks a husband. His hobbies and sexual fantasies must match hers. One of which is to do it in a dumpster full of pink cockroaches while being covered in corn syrup. Her only two hobbies are unclogging drains with a straw and breast-feeding monkeys.
