A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the
answer to "Where do pets come from?"
Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me every
day. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is
difficult for me to remember how much you love me."
And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that
will be with you forever & who will be a reflection of my love for you, so
that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how
selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will
accept you as you are & will love you as I do, in spite of yourself."
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a
good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to
be with Adam & he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "Lord, I have already
named all the animals in the Kingdom & I cannot think of a name for
this new animal."
And God said, "No problem! Because I have created this new animal to
be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my
own name, and you will call him DOG."
And Dog lived with Adam & was a companion to him & loved him. And
Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content & wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel came to the
Lord and said, "Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts
and preens like a peacock & he believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog
has indeed taught him that he is loved, but perhaps too well."
And the Lord said, "No problem! I will create for him a companion who
will be with him forever & who will see him as he is. The companion
will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not
always worthy of adoration."
And God created Cat to be a companion to Adam. And Cat would not obey
Adam. And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he was not the
supreme being. And Adam learned humility.
And God was pleased.
And Adam was greatly improved.
And Dog was happy.
And the cat didn't give a shit one way or the other.
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